I smoked like a chimney, and I don’t think I ate more than 400 calories my first two days in college. I had gone to a frat party with a dude named JJ who was I starting to work my “thing” on, and came back to the dorms at about midnight. I guess I was the only one randomly walking around at night, or what, but Meta, one of my suitemates, asked me if I wanted to go with her to meet a friend of hers from high school. Yeah. Sure. Why the hell not? I went back into my room and passed out.
She knocked on my door at 11 and off we went to catch the bus. I didn’t ask where we were going because I assumed she knew how to get there. About an hour later and very deep downtown, I finally asked her where we were supposed to meet this friend. Barracks Rd?! Wrong bus. Like woah. We jumped on the right bus, and another 45 minutes later we arrived at the book store. Now, this dude didn’t bring his phone with him, so we had no clue how to contact him, and we were about an hour late. Funny enough? He was there.
M strolled up to us and looked at me with contempt. Fine. I was just here to be with Meta. I’m not here to be your goddamn best friend. He’d already forgotten my name, but it didn’t matter, I didn’t know his name either. He told me his name was Jim. I climbed into the back of his Yellow VW Bug and off we went to drive around. For the most part I didn’t say much. We ended up downtown anyway and walked around the mall (think open air communal area, like DC except smaller). He was telling stories about the history of the place, and me, not listening, kept on walking after they’d stopped. He made a snarky remark which ended up drawing more ire from me. I did not like this asshole.
We had lunch at the Hardware Store… I ordered a Blue Cheese Burger (delish) which he thought was disgusting. I. Don’t. Care. What. You. Think. This guy was rubbin me the wrong way and I couldn’t wait to stop being around him. However, during the course of lunch, he did grill me intently on my life and background. Being sick and tired of explaining that, No… I’m not a fuggin Egyptian, I felt like giving him the made up high school I’d thought up a few days earlier, “I went to North Fairfax School for the Performing Arts”. But I didn’t. And he kinda ran with that, at least he wasn’t being a dick anymore.
We drove back to the dorms, and Meta asked if he wanted to come up. Sure, come on up and see everyone, I suggested. He didn’t. Fine. I went upstairs and promptly forgot about the major asshole with the yellow bug. It wasn’t until later that night that I remembered him. Meta came into my room and said, “M thinks you’re hot.” Who the fuck is M? I asked. “Jim… that guy?” Oooo. Fuck. Hmm. I quickly sent him an IM: You think I’m hot? I think I took him off guard. In the end, he asked if he could call me and I relented. Meh. Why not?
3 hours later, we had a date for Wednesday.
Wednesday… I think I’d smoked 2 packs of smokes, and I know I hadn’t eaten anything substantial since that fuggin burger. I was a little dizzy and lightheaded, and called to tell M as much. He asked if I wanted to cancel, but I said no. If anything, I’d get some food out of this, right? I did. And I never expected to actually like him. But apparently, he had cleaned up his defense mechanism a little since out last encounter. Plus, we had been talking every night since. We had our first kiss as I hopped into the car, but our first romantic kiss in the basement of a bookstore. It was sweet.
A week later, we fucked. Yeah. I roll quick. But see, that quite possibly could have ruined our relationship right there. While I was more than goddamn ready to be screwing anyone again, he had been a virgin. Yep. My bad for not really taking anyone’s feelings into account but mine. We made up after that omgdramahz (not the last one, not by a longshot).
Eventually, I began to realize that this relationship was actually serious. Not exactly something I’d imagined would happen, and so I had to make a phone call that I had hesitated to make for the first few weeks… I called Bob to tell him that I was probably not coming out to see him for Spring Break. And then I told him why. In the 6 or so years since I met M, I’ve been informed, in none too uncertain terms, that Bob was under the impression that we had a relationship. Of course, that ties in with Chance, and my subconscious reticence to start something with him as well. I guess, I always knew that Bob and I had a thing that summer. We had been talking, chatting, discussing my coming out to visit him… having interestingly lewd and lascivious late night calls. Yeah. Ok. I knew it was a thing. That was the beginning of a somewhat tenuous (understatement) relationship regarding Bob’s feelings toward M. M is now pretty much indifferent.
Anywhoo. I’m going to skip a lot of fluff here. Just, insert omgdramahz and petty fights, and blah blah blah.
M proposed on a Wednesday in Feb, the week after Valentines day. I had had a very bad day. I was not in the mood to deal with anyone, let alone M… What are you doing on your knee? I’m pissed off here, listen to my day. What are you talking about? What the hell are you doing on the… Oh. Oh! Ok. Ha! YES! YES YES YES!!!
We were married on May 28th (the day after Crappy Brother (who isn’t crappy anymore, but the name is stuck)’s birthday) 2006. Wanna see pictures? I’m sure you do. But we enjoy a fairly somewhat sentiment of anonymity here. ;)
What do I think about the past 10 years? Its been a ride, that’s for sure. I never saw myself as married, honestly. It wasn’t something in my mind… I was never the girl who played with the linens in front of a mirror. I also never really thought about kids before I met M. I figured adoption was a great idea since I didn’t really relish the idea of shitting on a table or getting fat(ter). Things change when you get older… as well as your priorities and sense of responsibility. When I was younger, I wouldn’t have thought twice about cheating on someone I was dating (and I didn’t). Today it seems like the worst thing I could ever imagine doing. When I was younger, I didn’t care if you couldn’t stand my smoking. Now? I’ll kill my asthmatic husband… and that is a bad thing. Husbands are, by far, better alive than dead. Back then, I was a major badass. I listened to the angriest, scariest music. It even used to make me cringe. Now, I really don’t have anyone to impress. Plus, M hates it. He has his moments, but for the most part I cant get away with Disturbed on a 3 hour drive.
There are times when I feel like I’ve sold out my 14 year old me. Like right now, wearing pink (it’s a very kick ass pink, I promise) and checking out LOLCats. I like cute things, and I’m wearing a (gasp) Girl’s watch! I guess, for the most part, I’ve grown out of my rebellious stage. I still own my Doc’s, show off my best asset (tits), and sport the dyed hair (God bless red hair dye), but I’m no longer the mean bitch. I’m no longer the Queen Freak. I’m no longer the scary type. I can pull it all out when I need to, but I don’t see a need anymore.
I’m pretty happy with the odd hybrid I am, today. Like, right now? Oh you bet I’m listening to the Spice Girls! But the song before was Down with the Sickness. So. There you are. What am I, today? Weird.
Here’s to another 10 years.
08/01/2008
[this is good] I do not trust you
Posted by: Buddy Welker | 06/13/2010 at 05:17 PM